Being Yourself, and liking who you are is a key step in being Bully Proof

Posted: March 8, 2012 in Advice for Parents, Become a Bully Buster

Lauren Forcella from brings insight in one of her articles to the importance of “Being Yourself,”  and explains that so many times, we wall parts of ourselves off, rather than embracing it.   She believes that we either deny the existence of our “inner self” and become cold, emotionally-detached shells, unable to make deep intimate connections with others. Or we deny our “mature self” and let our inner self take the reins, becoming emotionally fragile and helpless about life’s challenges, with potential to harm ourselves or take our own lives.  This may seem a bit extreme, but the core of what she discusses is very true and a key element to feeling good about yourself.  And I believe that feeling good about yourself while not pretending to be what you are not, keeps you less likely to be bullied.  Those who are trying to fit in by doing things that are not inline with their morals, values, or what feels natural, are bound to have internal conflict.  People can pick up on if you are acting real or not, and the best way to feel good is acceptance of yourself.

The key to healing is knowing we are both inner and outer beings at once and giving each their appropriate time and space. It’s about being a good stage manager and casting director between our inner and outer lives.  This may not come easy to everyone, especially if you are already feeling down, and having a hard time stepping out of your own shoes for much needed self reflection.   I believe we really CAN operate in the outer world maturely and fairly by holding boundaries with people who might walk all over us, being accountable for our part in things, and keeping our hearts open to love.   Seeing a good therapist can help with this inner process greatly — and the outer process. Both are essential and they are very connected to each other, and are great building blocks to gaining self confidence.  We are how we feel, and never under estimate the importance of feeling good about yourself!

Ryan Foland

Bully Buster OC


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