BLOG: Don’t be a Bystanders: How to Turn Onlookers into Upstanders

Bullying typically involves others besides the tormentor and his or her target, and numerous peers are often aware of the bullying, and they must choose how to respond. The choice comes down to playing one of three roles: perpetrator, bystander, or upstander. I am a believer in the power of developing kids to understand what it means to be an upstander and I believe that we need to eliminate the role of the “Bystander” altogether.

To more clearly define the roles to be discussed: • Perpetrators join in the bullying, escalate the harassment, or initiate new attacks on the target later.

• Bystanders attempt to remain uninvolved in the situation, often by looking on silently or finding an excuse to walk away.
• Upstanders take action to oppose the bullying in some way. They might intervene directly and tell the tormentors to stop, but they need not put themselves at risk in order to be helpful. Upstanders might also respond in other ways such as making friends with the targeted student or seeking help from adults.
• Most students in a classroom or school do not bully others regularly and are not victimized by bullies, but that does not stop bullying from happening. A common misconception about these student ‘bystanders’ though, is that they typically remain neutral or try to support the victim when they see bullying occurring. Unfortunately, the truth is that students who observe bullying are much more likely to encourage or assist the bully than to attempt to help the victim!

Furthermore, in situations in which a group of students is bullying a child, bystanders may actively join in by taunting, teasing, or ostracizing the victim. Teachers are often surprised when they see a group of otherwise-friendly children egging on a bully or engaging in bullying behaviors themselves. One explanation for why bystanders may cross the line to help bullies is that, as part of a group, bystanders may feel less accountable for their individual actions.  Another possibility is that bystanders feel justified in bullying the victim because they have come to believe that he or she ‘deserves’ such treatment.

Holding upstanders accountable for their behavior in bullying situations, reinforcing that they are the first line of defense, allows them to have positive direction in knowing how to get involved. Oftentimes children are not sure what to do in the moment they see bullying, and sometimes doing nothing is the easiest answer. I teach kids to learn what different situations they may encounter and then help them to role play to learn what the different options are. Seeing mock bullying, and then being able to discuss what the best actions are to take, allows children to respond instead of react when it really counts.

In and out of school, I encourage adults to facilitate group activities to encourage bystanders to develop positive relationships with potential victims, increasing the chances that they will be upstanders if a bullying situation arises.

Here are simple ideas for working with kids to become upstanders:

• Ensure that they understand the definition of “Bullying.” Children may not always know when their behavior crosses the line and becomes bullying.
• Create shared expectations for appropriate conduct and to build a common understanding of what behaviors should be defined as bullying.
• Create a shared definition for bullying with the class or with siblings by having them identify behaviors that are ‘bullying’ behaviors. List these behaviors on the board or somewhere in the house. If students focus only on examples of direct bullying, remind them not to overlook indirect bullying (e.g., gossip, excluding others from a group).Tell children that when you see examples of bullying occurring, you plan to intervene to keep the classroom and home a safe and friendly place for everyone.

With appropriate instruction and guidance bystanders can be empowered to take an active role in preventing bullying from occurring and to report bullying to adults when it does take place, becoming upstanders. To ‘win over’ bystanders to make them upstanders (what I would consider bully-prevention agents), the teacher and adults can make bystanders aware that their own behavior can encourage or discourage bullying, letting them know that they can and should become upstanders.

By teaching tools and phrases that upstanders can use to intervene when they witness bullying, my workshop gives practical concepts to help kids understand the role and importance of being an upstander. Building this role up as one of a leader, friend, and hero, I believe that we can make it “cool” for kids to be upstanders, and build an army to disengage bullying before it starts.

http://www.textkills.com

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The cost of 8 Staple Centers filled with “Bully Bait” every day

The OC Register has a group of writers that cater towards “OC Moms” and though I am not a mom by a long shot, I still enjoy reading their articles. One that Jo Ashline wrote takes a crack at discussing the difference between the perceived notion of bullying in the media, in contrast with the harsh reality that many kids face, and points to a very interesting and often used statistic from the National Educational Association. I want to explore a new way to look at this statistic.

It is interesting to think of the scene that’s played out in hundreds of television and movie scripts over the years: a helpless, scrawny kid gets teased relentlessly by an overgrown underachiever, after which a montage set to inspirational music of the victimized protagonist learning some sweet self-defense moves flashes across the screen. Eventually our young character feels confident enough to stand up to the mean kid, able to resolve the conflict with a heartfelt speech about acceptance and a PG-rated joke at the bully’s expense. The bully sulks off in defeat and the young boy is applauded as a hero, his newfound fame among his peers a symbol of his courageous plight. As Jo points out, unfortunately, for approximately one in four school-aged children across the nation, the reality of bullying is far more devastatingly complicated.

According to the National Education Association, it’s estimated that over 160,000 children refuse to go to school each day due to the fear associated with being bullied; that’s nearly 15 percent of all kids enrolled in school across the nation.

I have seen this statistic used in many articles and blogs about school bullying. It is quite powerful when looking at a snapshot of the nation and the effect bullying has on schools. One Hundred and sixty thousand kids, really? Let’s put that in perspective by seeing how many times over these children would fill up the Staples Center in LA. For basketball, the capacity is 19,079; for hockey it is 18,118. For concerts and other special events, the capacity nears 20,000 guests, depending on the set-up of the event, so let’s assume 20,000 to be conservative. So every day, imagine 8 Staple Centers filled to max capacity with “bully bait.”

These kids will end up going back to school, only to let the next shift of kids making excuses or faking being sick to take their seat in one of the virtual seats in one of the hypothetical 8 Staple Centers. One backlash that may not be so apparent is the amount of money that the schools are losing in state funding. Schools are paid per kid from the state based on Average Daily Attendance. The state evaluates attendance by taking an average of students over a period of time, and based on enrollment, and school size, the accounting of lost funding to the school is approximately $40 dollars a day per kid. Sow think of each parent who’s kid who is avoiding school, attending one of the hypothetical 8 Staples Centers, as having to pay $40 dollars back to the schools to counterbalance the loss created. That is a staggering $6.4 million dollars that schools are losing every day. It is no wonder that there is a push from Michelle Obama, all the way to each school’s PTA, to take steps to make kids feel safe at school. There is no one solution, or magic pill that can be distributed, but instead the practical solution is small steps at local levels, and involvement of parents, students, and teachers alike to educate, communicate, and work collectively. I believe that efforts like our Free Bully Buster OC Workshop, are key building blocks to help stop bullying before it starts.

http://www.BullyBusterUSA.org

http://www.textkills.com

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Fire in the eyes for a black belt: How Kids in Karate learn life lessons

As a kid’s martial arts instructor,  I’ve seen some incredible things, and kids seem to always shed light into the pure human condition.  I’ve seen kids who couldn’t sit still for 30 seconds learn to stay calm and relaxed for HOURS.   I’ve seen kids who are used to F’s, take pride in seeking straight A’s from the discipline they got from martial arts.  But recently, this past Friday at a belt test, I saw something that just stopped me in my tracks.

I saw a six-year old get his yellow belt (that’s the second belt in the ranking system).  After he put it on, he looked over at his other classmates and around the room, and everyone was cheering.  The atmosphere was very positive, and there were many proud parents.  I’m pretty sure that he felt like he’d just climbed Mt. Everest, and then he looked over in my direction.   And I caught his eye, and then saw him look down to and back up at my eyes, and when they returned, I knew what he was looking at.  He was looking at my black belt, and the look in his eyes showed me that he would do whatever it took to get his own black belt someday.  His eyes told me that he got a taste of what it felt like to reach his goal of getting his next belt, and I realized that that six-year old learned something most people never do in their whole lives: how to set a goal, and go for it with everything you’ve got.  So when I say martial arts are about more than self-defense, this is a great example what I’m talking about.

Sometimes Kids just need some purpose to seek, to make them feel like they are part of something, and Karate can create this environment and sense of purpose.  Kids who are home playing video games by themselves, I believe are too far removed from interaction that will teach them crucial interpersonal skills, and limits the opportunity for goal setting and achieving.  Those kids who have a good group of friends are less likely to be singled out and be targets of bullies, and this support group is inherent in a Karate class.  I know that when I was bullied, martial arts gave me an avenue to express my anger in a positive way, and it gave me the same fire in my eyes that I saw from the new Yellow belt.  I followed my drive to get my black belt, and have confidence that he will too.

PRESS RELEASE: Bully Buster USA sponsors OC Ride for AIDS

Orange County Ride for AIDS Smartphone app offers registration, convenient donation feature, and organized access to all that is the OC Ride for AIDS    

Laguna Niguel, California, October 11, 2012 – Iconosys, Inc., a leading mobile safety Smartphone application developer based in Orange County, CA, has finished development of a convenient new Smartphone app for the AIDS Services Foundation Orange County (ASF). The app was designed for the Orange County Ride for AIDS (OCRA) in order to give app users access to better and more convenient tools for registering for, donating to, and supporting the efforts of this well-known and important event.

This year’s third annual OCRA is positioned to be the largest and most successful event yet. ASF’s OCRA event raised just under two hundred thousand from donations collected in the past two years.  The 2012 goal is to raise two hundred thousand dollars. In 2011, more than 115 people participated in the bike ride to help raise funds to prevent the spread of HIV and improve the lives of men women and children in Orange County affected by HIV/AIDS.  This year more than 140 riders have already registered and donations are being accepted.

This year’s OC Ride for AIDS event is scheduled on October 13, 2012 starting and finishing at the Festival of Arts, Laguna Beach, CA. Corporate sponsors include Iconosys, Bully Buster USA™, Monster Offers, Casa Laguna Inn & Spa,Shopoff Group,  EuroPapi, Greenlight Financial Services , Juice It Up!, Shell Vacation Club,TextKills.com, Union Bank Foundation, Barefoot Wine & Bubbly, Equinox and Wells Fargo Bank.

Ryan Foland, COO of Iconosys Quote:

“In this, the 3rd year of the OC Ride for AIDS we are very proud and honored to be able to align ourselves with such a worthy cause!  We are confident that our app, with year-round usability, will be a hit with the event attendees, and will be appreciated and enjoyed by the thousands of people that support this organization.”

Orange County Ride for AIDS 2012 App Features are set to include:

• Access to register yourself or your team for participation in Orange County Ride for AIDS 2012 in Laguna Beach
• An easy-to-use donation option that allows you to conveniently make donations to support OCRA, at any time of the year and with the push of a button on your Smartphone or smart device
• Picture With - a feature allowing you to take custom framed photos at the event (Android only)
• Virtual Booth – Allowing vendors to have a virtual presence on each of the attendees phones, including a vendor/sponsor directory
• Inside the app access to up-to-date news and information on the foundation’s works and successes, all year long
• Access to the ASF website, as well as its Twitter, Facebook and other social networking sites, all in one place
• OCRA Catch – A fun new game where you can help to raise virtual money by catching falling money, making sure to avoid falling hazards (iPhone only)

Availability:

The App is available for Android OS and iOS phones.  The app can be downloaded from from ASF’s website, as well as from the Iconosys website and Facebook pages, the Adshark™ AppHysteria™ App Store, the Android Market, GetJar, the Amazon appStore, and the Barnes & Noble Online marketplace, and iTunes.

The Orange County Ride for AIDS is a newer HIV/AIDS fundraiser that is gaining popularity and exposure through grass root and viral efforts. Launching this new fundraiser in 2010, ASF is the organizer for the event.

Funds raised at the annual ride support essential programs and care offered by ASF to thousands of men, women and children living with HIV/AIDS in Orange County. Services provided through AFS include food, housing, transportation, case management, mental health counseling, family and children’s programs, HIV testing and prevention education, and support groups.

“ASF is very happy to be working again with our friends at Iconosys,” commented Philip Yaegar, Executive Director, CEO, AIDS Services Foundation Orange County. “The increased awareness they’ve brought to our cause through the development and promotion of the AIDS Walk Orange County app, and now the OC Ride for AIDS app, is immeasurable and greatly appreciated.“

A new addition to this year’s event is the inclusion of the TextKills® Bus at the finish line. The wrapped RV is a not-for-profit, outreach program founded in 2010 by Iconosys and its executives to take the message of distracted driving and cyber-bullying to schools and events around the country in an effort to raise awareness of the risks associated with these addictive behaviors. Recently joining forces with Bully Buster USA™ in 2012, the Text Kills® Bus has taken a stance on the use of texting to bully.

 

The TextKills® bus regularly partners with law enforcement, fire and safety authorities, schools, and local cities/communities in an effort to keep people thinking about the risks that cell phones can pose when used while driving or when used to bully, and OCRA feels that having the bus is a great fit for the event.

“By signing the Text Kills Bus, we ask concerned citizens to do everything they can to refrain from texting and/or talking on the phone behind the wheel, and ask them to make a pledge to not be a bully,” added Ryan Foland, Iconosys COO and founder of Bully Buster USA™. “Cyber-bullying greatly affects the LGTB community and texting while driving poses a great danger to road bikers; we are excited to spread awareness of both these issues at this year’s event.”

You can show your support for the event and its causes by coming down to sign the Text Kills® bus, or you can even sign the bus online at textkills.com and get a copy of your signature sent to you (as it appears on the bus).

For more information about the event, see the Orange County Ride for AIDS website at:www.ocrideforaids.com

 

To Sponsor Orange County Ride for AIDS, please contact:

Verlaine Crawford, Director of Corporate Development, AIDS Services Foundation Orange County at (949) 809-8761 or email at vcrawford@ocasf.org

 

About AIDS Services Foundation Orange County

AIDS Services Foundation Orange County (ASF) was founded 26 years ago at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic by a small, dedicated group of community volunteers to provide support to their friends and loved ones who were dying of AIDS and in desperate need of help.

Over the years, ASF has served over 75% of the individuals affected by HIV/AIDS in Orange County and has evolved into the most comprehensive and experienced nonprofit HIV/AIDS service agency in Orange County, CA.  ASF’s staff of more than 50 people reflects the communities served – more than 25% identify themselves as Latino and bilingual in Spanish.  ASF is governed by an all-volunteer-member board of directors who are leaders in the community. Over 600 volunteers gave over 26,000 hours of their time last year – the equivalent of more than 12 full-time employees. Among the volunteers are people living with HIV/AIDS, whose very personal understanding of this disease further enhances the agency’s ability to serve its clients.

About Iconosys, Inc.

Iconosys, a member of the National Organization for Youth Safety (NOYS) and the maker of the widely used and well-publicized Word Bully™, Guard’s Up!™, LatchKey Kid™, My Max Speed™, and Trick or Tracker™ Smartphone apps, is developing technologies and technology driven products for its clients with a goal toward designing apps that enrich, enhance, and ultimately make safer, our day-to-day lives. Iconosys has developed event apps for events like the OC Walk for AIDS, AIDS Walk LB, Long Beach Marathon, and may more.

Iconosys develops Apps and technologies for iOS and Android OS Smartphones and tablet computers. See a cross section of some of Iconosys’ catalog of nearly 700 Smart device apps from your Smartphone browser: http://apps.iconosys.com, and from your computer browser:  http://iconosys.com/product.php.

 Press Contact: AIDS Services Foundation Orange County

Marc Montminy, Director of Communications and Public Relations

Direct:  949-809-8766

ASF Office:  949-809-5700

A Discussion on Bullying in the Workplace

While this is a very delicate topic, bullying in the workplace is not a rare thing and, for some people, it can be something that leaves definite scars on one’s personality. When a person is a bully starting with his childhood period, he will most likely be a bully for the rest of his life. This means that he will continuously try to impose and force his opinion and point of view on the others around him, including his co-workers.

There are several tactics for bullying in the workplace and verbal abuse is probably the most frequent form of them all. Humiliation is also quite frequent, as is psychological and sometimes non-verbal abuse. Fortunately, bullying in the workplace can be reported and measures can be imposed by the management team. Unfortunately, in some cases, the victim cannot prove that the bully verbally abused him.

People can be bullied by the people they work with and even by their superiors. There are many cases when employees are pointed at for not accomplishing certain tasks. In cases of bullying, employees are deliberately given tasks they are unable to complete because they lack the resources, they are given tasks above their level of understanding or they are given humiliating tasks. Such behaviors are considered an abuse of power. But that is not all. Bullying can also be caused by intolerance: people  are not accepted by the team or because they have minor handicaps or the others simply dislike them. In happier cases, these people don’t turn into victims, they are just ignored. But there are cases when they are turned into victims of discrimination when it comes to a promotion or getting some bonuses, rewards and recognition.

People with aggressive behavior are generally unsure of themselves; they are not very sociable and quite incapable to empathize with others. They turn this insecurity into the need to push others around and they find it satisfactory to attack and belittle those around them. The victims are prone to unjustified comments and are being held responsible for even the slightest error. Bullies at work humiliate people in front of the other or keep them under strict supervision, they isolate the victims or completely exclude them from the work community.

Such bullies will poison the good mood at their workplace by showing inadequate behavior, making others fear them or make their victims fell anger and depression. Organizations are the ones who end up paying the price of such bullying because efficiency at the workplace is generally lower, people are absent, unmotivated and some people end up even suing the company or quitting. Studies show that people who end up being bullied at work spend half of their working hours trying to defend themselves or seeking understanding from others, analyzing the situation and trying to deal with the lack of motivation. In some cases, people will even ask for days off work. Families and friends of the victims are also affected because the victim often shows deformed behavior due to anxiety and frustration.

If you witness or area victim to bullying in the workplace, make sure to speak up and address the issue with management. Make sure to do your part in stopping harassment or aggressive behavior. Don’t be a work bully, be a work bully buster!

And please share your work bullying stories as comments and share with us how you dealt (of didn’t deal) with the situation. When we share, we all learn.

Learn more at http://www.BullyBusterUSA.org

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Cultural Discussion on Bullying, Is It Universal? Are Some Cultures More Prone?

Why do some people bully in the first place? It seems that adults are bullying young people, kids are bullying adults and the circle goes on and on. There are several types of bullying, but first of all, let’s see why do people bully in the first place. Bullying is used by some people to control others either using verbal abuse, like teasing, threats and even violence. The action of bullying takes place in schools, at the workplace, even at home or on the playground. Unfortunately, it seems that bullying is a common form of abuse in the US society. But USA is not alone, most European countries also also have these problems, especially in the eastern part of Europe where kids often use verbal and physical violence to show off that they are better than others.

There are many reasons behind bullying and there are cultural causes among others. For example, in a culture where everybody is lead by the desire to be a winner, be successful and dominate others, it is expected that people will be influenced and will want to seek power using violence. Domestic violence is sometimes at the base and it is regarded that young people are raised thinking that violence is the answer and it is the only way to get what they want. Another example can be taken from the wrestling area, where bullies are glorified in the name of entertainment. Especially young people are very easily influenced and once they get to know this world, it is unlikely they will think of another alternative to getting their way done.

Another reason why people bully can be determined by social issues. In case people get more  recognition with negative actions and behavior, they will contribute to bullying. Even in real life, like schools for instance, the fact that acting out will get that child noticed better than behaving civilly and responsibly. Lack of social skills or personal skills, jealousy and envy can lead to bullying as well. It is well known that in families where the atmosphere is not loving and supportive, where feelings are not shared and encouraged, children often become bullies, perhaps not at home, but definitely in school, on the streets and in society. Especially when there is a punitive atmosphere, bullies will always exist and come out.

There are even researches that state that people who have power will make other people wish to wield in a very noticeable way. It is a known fact that boys and men are more prone to bullying, but since nowadays women have taken over 50% of the workforce, woman on woman bullying has been reported. There are many reasons why people are bullying and comes from gender, racism, religion and family issues. But no matter the causes, bullying is a serious matter and if it is not handled soon, it can lead to serious social problems for those people.

Of course there are some countries and cultures in the world that teach their children to be loving and respect one another no matter what. These societies don’t see bullying the way most western cultures do. Unfortunately, with just a few exceptions, bullying has still found its way to schools and playgrounds everywhere around the world.

Please feel free to share your international bullying stories as comments! The more people share, the more they realize they are not alone.

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Predator Preventer™ Monitors Your Child’s Smartphone and Protects Against Child Predators

With child predators moving to mobile devices as a way to find and contact their prey, Iconosys’ new Predator Preventer™ app helps parents fight back against these “text offenders” by monitoring for, preventing, and ultimately defeating predatory behavior.

 Laguna Niguel, California, October 2, 2011 - Iconosys, Inc., a leading mobile safety Smartphone application developer, furthers its commitment to protecting children with today’s release of its Predator Preventer™ app, a much anticipated mobile app that protects children from predators who use mobile devices to find, and take advantage of, their victims.

Why is this app needed?

• Nearly 800,000 children are reported each year by US Department of Justice (DOJ).  That is 2,185 each day!  258,000 of these are people our children know (family and friends).
• MissingKids.com reports that 34% of children have unwanted exposure to sexual material.
• 53% of children under 13 are using Smartphones, as reported by a recent Qualcomm study.
• 360,000 Android OS Smartphones were sold last quarter alone.
• Children are more likely not to report predatorial behavior for; 1)  fear of losing their phones by getting in trouble with their parents for seeing things they know they should not have, 2) fear of being hurt by their predator for notifying someone

Many of the circumstances relating to prevalent cell phone usage that make children vulnerable to child predators when out of their parents’ or guardians’ sights can now be lessened with the safety-oriented Predator Preventer™ app from Iconosys.

Once Predator Preventer™ is installed on the child’s Android OS phone, this unique app allows parents and guardians to keep track of, and protect, their loved ones; in fact, parents themselves can be on any type of phone (Android, iPhone, Windows 8, or other).

The new app also includes the slimmed down Trick or Tracker® sms-based locator technology and the Word Bully™ cyber-bully monitoring technology for a full featured, “concerned parent” total solution to combating “text offenders” who use the Smartphone as a destructive weapon in their search for unsuspecting victims.

Commented Wayne Irving II, inventor of the Predator Preventer™ app and father of 3 pre-teen children, “Child Predators are targeting our children now through their cellphones.  As they tell us of their often weird, strange, and uncomfortable experiences and encounters involving their Smartphones, our first instinct is to try to protect them by taking away these communication devices, which may serve as a link to a dangerous predator.  But in my mind, we can’t punish our children for something they did not do or understand how to handle.”  continued Irving, “I want the peace of mind that comes from knowing that my little loved ones can use that phone anytime and anywhere to call ME when they need my help or protection.  With Predator Preventer, I know that the Smartphone by my child’s side will protect them like a shield from text offenders.”   

Predator Preventer™ Features Include:

•   Monitor and Report Unknown or Unwanted Contacts.  Notification when an unknown or suspicious Smartphone user sends a text message to someone in your care.
•   Filtering Messages.  Monitors for approximately 5,600 words, acronyms, lingo, verbiage, idioms, and known phrases that might be considered profane, threatening, vulgar, or predatory in nature and also allows the parent or user to customize their own watch list of predatory terms (see below).
•   Blocks Messages/Forwards Messages.  Stops inbound and outbound questionable communications and forwards them to parents and others with a “need to know”.
•   Manage Words/Phrases Lists.  Provides extra protection by allowing you to create, manage and monitor a customized list of predatory watch words (e.g. acronyms, abbreviations, and predator-style lingo).
•   Identify Predators.  Allows you to use the app to filter and monitor ALL incoming text message communications, or to choose to ignore messages from specific numbers/text offenders.
•   Locate your Child via GPS.  Locates your child, family member or loved one anytime with Iconosys’ proprietary Trick or Tracker® child location retrieval service.  If GPS is off, locate your child through IP address trace routing.
•   Notify if Child’s Phone Battery is Low.  Receive automatically your child’s precise physical location, via GPS with low battery notifications.
•   Intentional Power-Down LKL (Last Known Location) Notify.  When your child’s phone is intentionally powered off using the power off button, the phone will send the last recorded physical location of your child upon the phone’s intentional shut down.
•   Offensive Messages Lock-Box. Finally, the app stores the offensive and filtered test messages for long term retrieval in a password protected “lockbox” or storage location — resistant to water, electrical, and impact damage — on the Smartphone or Smart device.

Availability:

Predator Preventer™ is available for the next 15 days, it will be available from www.trickortracker.com for free (until 11:59pm EST 10/16/2012).  After that, it will be available for purchase at www.iconosys.com, www.AppHysteria.com, the Amazon AppStore, Google Play, and at www.trickortracker.com.  After 10/16/2012,the app costs only $9.99 for a lifetime coverage per phone.

About Iconosys, Inc.

Iconosys, a member of the National Organization for Youth Safety (NOYS) and the maker of the widely used and well publicized Trick or Tracker®, Word Bully™, and My Max Speed™ Smartphone apps, is developing technologies and technology driven products for its clients with a goal toward designing apps that enrich, enhance, and ultimately make safer, our day to day lives, especially those of our technologically smart and savvy children.

Iconosys develops apps and technologies for iOS and Android OS Smartphones and tablet computers. See a cross section of some of Iconosys’ catalog of nearly 700 Smart device apps from your Smartphone browser: http://apps.iconosys.com , and from your computer browser: http://iconosys.com/product.php

_{For Media Contact:
______________________________________}

 Corporate Communications 

Suzanne Ostovarpour  

(949) 547-4742   

suzanne@iconosys.com

The Dangers of Cyber Bullying

Bullying has become a social menace. Bullies no longer bully their way on the play ground, they use other means too. They can now extend their nefarious activities by using social media, email and texting. This new way to bully has given rise to the phenomenon called and known as cyber bullying. This type of bullying uses digital tools to advance the agenda of cruelty and hatred.  Bullies are making their victims uncomfortable through abuse, and the target doesn’t see the attacker. The abuse of a target may come in verbal and emotional form through the various technological devices. Physical abuse is rare in cyber bullying because of the limited contact between the bully and the victim, however often times victims will be both bullied physically and through cyber means.

One way to stop cyber-bullying through text messages is to install a smartphone app on your child’s phone like WordBully. Bully Buster USA has helped Iconosys to develop this amazing technology that acts as a filter to not let cyber-bully messages through to the phone.

Don”t be a Cyber-Bully

The use of the Internet and similar tools to intimidate and coerce people has been on the rise. It is particularly common in modern societies and among young people. As young people expose themselves using the Internet, they also expose themselves to cyber bullies. The hostile behavior that a bully exhibits causes undue psychological and emotional damage to the victim. It gives an impression that the bully intends to harm the target using digital mechanisms and methods. Another form of harassment is called cyber stalking. Cyber stalking takes in the form of a person stalking a celebrity or an an ordinary person to the point it causes great inconvenience. It is also considered a form of cyber bullying. It becomes bullying when the person is no longer free to avoid the dark agenda of the bully. The bully typically wants to instill fear and coercion to the target. The bully takes advantage of the power imbalance, often times threatening physical violence and in extreme cases death.

There have been a lot of people driven to commit suicide as a result of cyber bullying. It also causes undue stress and mental anxiety to people. It may lead to serious medical conditions if there is no intervention done to solve the problem. The challenge to stop cyber bullying is to raise awareness among victims to speak up. It is important that targets are able to talk about their situation with a trusted adult. The success of cyber bullying is in the non-reporting of incidents. If there is no break in the cycle of emotional and mental violence, these bullies will still use the imbalance of power to advance their agenda and perpetuate the culture of bullying in cyber space.

Learn more at www.BullyBusterUSA.org

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How to Handle Back To School Bullying : Advice from a Teenager

I have been excited to share our guest blogger Haley, and her most recent contribution is a very relevant topic as school is starting across the country soon. Remember, if you or someone you wants to share your advice, please email me at bullybusterusa@gmail.com. And with no further adieu, here is Haley’s advice for the approaching school year!

Be an Upstander

Hey there guys… How has your summer been? I know for some people it’s basically over, so I decided I would start off today with some words about back to school bullying.

So we all know that first days back at school are this weird paradoxical thing where students are depressed summer is over, but also almost want to go back to school in order to see all of their friends. I don’t know about boys, but I know most girls usually spend hours deciding what to wear, how to do their makeup, etc, in order to make the best first impression possible. And for some horribly unfortunate people, going back to school also means facing renewed bullying from peers that they haven’t seen all summer. And let me tell you, 3 months away can change a person, and not always for the better. Be careful when you go back to school, because when you haven’t seen some one all summer, they may have changed. I mean one of my best friends in 8^th grade totally changed between 8^th and 9^th grade. She came back super stuck up and just generally obnoxious. Turns out, she had gotten close to one of the “popular” girls and had kinda just left me behind. Now I understand that in the grand scheme of things, that probably doesn’t matter that much, I mean if she didn’t want to hang with me, that’s her loss, but still, it kinda hurt. And for the kids who go back to school and have to face renewed bullying, there are a few ways you can try to combat it (get it, combat..anyone? ok guess not)…firstly, when you go back to school, don’t automatically fall back into the bully trap. Try to stand up to them, or just avoid them, if possible. If nothing helps, try filing an anonymous bullying report, most schools have them, and they allow you to report bullying without being labeled as the “tattletale”. If nothing else works, talk to your parents right away, because since it’s the beginning of the year, you can probably figure out transfer options. Anyways, have fun going back to school my dear readers, I’m sure you will have tons of fun with the new homework… as for me, I don’t go back to school until September 5, so I’ll spend my days chilling on the beach.

“When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.”
- Chris Colfer

Is There a Link between Being Bullied and not Getting a College Degree

Unfortunately, school bullying has become a problem in many education institutions, including colleges, and in most places, people are not paying enough attention to this phenomenon which is extremely dangerous to the young mind. In order to better understand how this works, one must become acquainted to what actions can be considered bullying. If this happens to a student, he or she may lose all interest in studying and may start failing in classes and skipping them all together. This is a serious threat to the education of this person as he or she may drop out of college due to bad results or in the hopes of getting rid of all that bullying.

Bullying happens at all levels of education

In schools and colleges, many areas can perfect to the bully. PE classes are the most frequent place where bullies pick on others in undergrad education. Any playground, sports court or hallway is also good, just like any bathroom or even the dorms and classrooms. In most cases, bullying in college is done by a group of individuals that verbally and sometimes even physically hurt an introverted student. Targets are often subject to taunting and teasing before the bullies make any physical move on the victim, if at all. Anyone who appears to be a little different than the others, who is considered a geek or has any handicap is subject to bullying.

Aside from the bullies and the victim, there are students who are called bystanders because they generally sit and watch as the victim is being bullied. While bystanders generally don’t agree with this aggressive behavior, they never step in out of fear of becoming the next victim. These same students have an opportunity to become “upstanders” and speak out against bullying that they may see.

There have also been cases where the bully is actually one of the teachers and professors, and this is when the situation gets even worse. Students must stand up for themselves in such a situations. Adults tend to think youngsters overreact if they blame professors for some kind of aggression and if the professor at stake should find out about the complaint, he could harass the student even more. However, if you are bullied, you are always encouraged to talk to your parents and the college counsel when you are a victim of bullying from any direction. If nothing is said, nothing will be done

In most cases, bullying leads to a lower self esteem of the victim. Students who are being bullied through their entire youth may be less likely to attend college. Some grow to believe that bullying is a natural state and that they are naturally being punished and are not equal to other students. The consequences on the young person’s mental health are worrying: some will feel too depressed to study, which might affect their overall scolastic results and even play a part in making higher education less of a reality.

Do your part in stopping bullying in schools at all levels.

Want more information about how to combat bullying? Find out more at http://www.BullyBusterUSA.org, like us on facebook (www.facebook.com/bullybusterusa, and follow us on Twitter @BullyBusterUSA.